Saiadatu Bala Ahmed is a 22-year-old married woman from Adamawa State in Northern Nigeria. Saiada as she is usually called has had her life transformed after watching the Vagina monologues play (‘V’- monologues) in Lagos.
Saiada lives with her husband and 2 year old daughter in Apapa, a suburb of Lagos State. She is a member of The Ajegunle Community Project (ACP) a grantee organisation of AWDF. ACP seeks to reduce social inequalities among grassroots women and the girl-child. Saiada got married at the age of 17 years under duress and had to forfeit writing the West African Examinations because her father could no longer pay for her education. Her prospective husband promised to send her to school to complete her education after the marriage, alas this promise was a fallacy as her marriage turned out to be as abusive as any woman could imagine! Any reference to the promise to continue her education intensified the violence against her. Saiada was beaten, wrongly accused of adultery, thrown out of home, raped, denied her human rights and was even divorced once (according to her culture a wife is divorced four times before the marriage is finally dissolved). Saiada’s husband sacked her from her marital home when she was four months pregnant because a male neighbor was staring at her (her husband said he doubted he had made her pregnant). Saiada’s daily life was a nightmare, one of apprehension and violence! Certainly this could not be allowed to go on forever!
The turning point for Saiada was in 2006 when she was invited by the late founder of Ajegunle Community Foundation to join other young women to watch the “V-Monologues” play in Lagos. The “V- Monologue” resonates Saiada’s life story. “Every stage of the play was about me and my life, l felt so sad and l just told myself that this is it, these violations of my human rights must stop now. The play just gave me courage, confidence and strength, and l just discovered my voice and myself. I was ready to demand and take my rights from my husband no matter what, l was just ready” Saiada said. Such profound words indeed! Saiada had to be careful though; she was not just dealing with an abusive husband but also an obsessed one. She started off by posting posters with messages of violence against women on the walls of their room at places where he would never miss to notice. Messages such as “Do not allow any man to turn your body into a punching bag, it is your right to protect it”. “Against her will is against the law”. These messages continued for awhile but they almost also landed her into trouble with her husband. But this never deterred Saiada. She was determined and stood her ground, threatening to report her husband to the police if he beats her and saying she will use the marks on her body as evidence against him. The spark of audacity and determination in her eyes and actions sent a strong warning message to her husband to be careful with her, “this is the new Saiada Bala who is now well informed about her rights” she said. In order to gain his ‘masculine ego’ back, he asked her to stop attending the meetings at ACP but she refused and insisted she will continue to attend. He asked her to leave his house but she refused and reminded him that she was his wife and had to be divorced four times! He threatened to marry a second women but she told him she will simply move out and move on with her life. He used all sort of ploys to get her into a submissive demeanor but Saiada was now too well informed to be manipulated. He finally gave up!
Today, Saiada has completed a computer school with sponsorship from her husband and she is getting ready to go back to school to study diploma in sociology. “My husband is becoming a changed person now, thankfully the violence has stopped” she said. Saiada also has political aspirations and will like to go into mainstream politics one day. This is an awesome young lady with huge potentials that should be nurtured. She is highly recommended to attend the African women’s leadership institute and African feminist Forum.
“The Vagina Monologues, “V-monologues: The Nigerian Story” is a remake of the American version. The American version, written by Eve Ensler, was a catalogue of various monologues told by various women. A recurring theme throughout the piece is the vagina as a tool of female empowerment, and the ultimate embodiment of individuality. However, the Nigerian version is a bit different. The play is aimed at raising awareness about various aspects of violence women and girls face in Nigeria.
The Vagina Monologues came to Nigeria for the first time in 2006 through Kudirat Initiative for Democracy (KIND) a grantee of AWDF. It has since evolved into a Nigerian version (The V-Monologues) infused with issues peculiar to the Nigerian cultural challenges with the use of Nigerian language and music.
Nafi Chinery
Capacity Building Officer (AWDF)